5 Tips To Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
Nothing positive happens when you are comparing yourself to others. I’ve had some major breakthroughs in the past week, and I want to share some of those insights with you guys.
People tend to belittle their own achievements, or even worse, fail to acknowledge them at all. You won’t recognize your own greatness if you are too busy comparing yourself with the Joneses. Usually, it sounds something like this:
- “Man, I wish I had that car.”
- “I hate my job. I wish I had Bob’s job.”
- “Why can’t I have a body like his/hers?”
- “Why can’t I be as cool as that guy/girl?”
- “Bob/Sally lives in an apartment downtown. I still live at home. I feel like shit.”
How do I know this? Because I fell into this trap not too long ago, and it’s a bad place to be. Never put someone on a pedestal; their life is never as good as it seems. Everyone has their own bullshit that they are dealing with.
Some hide it really well and choose not to own their feelings, which is toxic and will lead to their demise. Others are honest with themselves, which heals and promotes growth.
Rather than beating yourself up about your perceived insecurities, acknowledge your awareness and pat yourself on the back. Tell yourself good job. Think about all the amazing things you’ve done lately and own those wonderful feelings.
Love yourself. And whenever you fall back into that trap of thinking you’re not worthy enough, smack yourself upside the head (and think of me ).
“It has been proven now scientifically that an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative thought.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith
You might be thinking, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, Tim.” But comparison is the pattern all successful people have broken.
5 Tips To Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
1.) Understand that it’s a waste of energy
Adopt the mindset, “Just for today, do not worry.” Worrying leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to frustration, frustration leads to resentment, and resentment is a waste of energy.
Instead, focus on the small things that make life wonderful. Like the warm weather, the plants and animals outside your house, or the simple fact that everyone in the world is on their own path trying to figure it out.
It’s an amazing perspective when you take a step back and look at the world in with those lenses. You end up appreciating the world for what it is and embrace the positives feelings that come along with it.
2.) Write down 10 things you are grateful for
This exercise focuses on the most powerful feeling in the world, love. When you clearly write out things what you are grateful for, you realize that life is not about the material items.
My favorite quote from the movie Fight Club is “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.”
When I make a gratitude list, I try and read it several times throughout the week, or put it in a place where I can see it everyday, to remind myself how special life is.
Think about your family, friends, experiences, and learning lessons.
- My brother, who looks up to me.
- My best friends and girlfriend who have supported me and helped me through tough times.
- Not having any debt out of college.
- The infinite intelligence that exists in the world — the abundance — I can be anything I am inspired to be.
Meditation and Reiki has literally saved my life. If you know my story, I felt lost and without purpose for several months, battling depression. With the help of meditation, I was able to find inner peace, openness to new ideas and opportunities, and clarity towards my next step in life.
Start off by meditating 3-4x a week for 10-15 minutes. Focus on taking deep breaths and let your mind relax. It takes time to train your mind to settle down. Just like a muscle, it can be strengthened with repetition and consistency.
Once you get more comfortable, you can meditate more frequently and for longer periods. Here is an excellent introductory article on meditation for beginners.
4.) Surround Yourself With Positive, Uplifting People
One of my favorite quotes:
“You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn, American author and entrepreneur
Do you spend your time with people who are negative? Cynical? Jealous? You will likely adopt the same habits and perceptions.
Conversely, do you spend your time with people who are positive? Motivated? Driven? Selfless? You will likely adopt the same habits and perceptions. The latter will lead you to feel inspired rather than comparing yourself to others.
I am a part of a private Facebook group with over 17,000 like-minded entrepreneurs. My mindset has never been this strong.
5.) Write down positive affirmations
“Affirmations are one of the most powerful ways to create a vibrational match for what you want to attract in your life.” – Jack Canfield, The Key to Living the Law of Attraction
Every thought and word you express to yourself is an affirmation. An affirmation is the action or process of affirming something. For example, “I am strength,” is attracting a strong life force from the Universe. Conversely, “I am not good enough,” is attracting unworthiness and fear.
Jack Canfield states, “Strong, positive affirmations are powerful means of self-transformation and they are a key element in the creation of the life you desire. They work by purposely replacing the limiting ideas, negative beliefs, and self-talk that you have taken on and internalized over the years with positive statements that assert who you want to be and how you want to experience life.”
Write down strong, positive affirmations centered around self-love. Use “I am [blank]” as a template.
So what now?
The first step to overcoming your negative self talk is awareness. I congratulate you. Stay consistent on the advice about and you will create a shift in the way you live.